In grief, it is very common to feel more aware of time passing. When January arrives, moving into the new year can raise feelings that are difficult to cope with no matter how long ago your loved ones died. What once was felt as joyous anticipation may now be replaced with tears, anger or dread as you face a new year without the person you love.
Often people feel guilty or as though they are leaving their loved one behind. For me personally, I have found it difficult to move into a new year knowing that my lost loved ones would not know anything about the new year. The awareness of time can bring about lots of different thoughts and emotions and can feel overwhelming and very upsetting.
Gentle Ways to Support Yourself Through Grief in the New Year
- Release the pressure to “move on”
Grief doesn’t follow a calendar. There is no deadline for how you should feel. You don’t need to set big resolutions or force yourself into joy. Try to take each day as it comes, offering yourself the same kindness you would give to someone you care about. - Be honest with yourself — and with others
If you are struggling, that’s okay and it’s normal. Your wellbeing matters. You don’t need to feel or behave in a certain way, and you don’t need to pretend you’re okay. If you’ve made plans but they feel like too much, you’re allowed to cancel them and to be honest about why. - Create gentle rituals
For some people, rather than avoiding the New Year entirely, comfort can be found in small, meaningful acts. Lighting a candle, writing a letter to your loved one, cooking their favourite meal, or wearing something that belonged to them can help you feel connected. These moments can gently bridge the past and the present. - Honour your own pace
Some days you may want company; on other days, you may need quiet and space. Both are valid. Let your needs guide you, rather than the expectations of the season. Something simple, yet powerful, can be to ask yourself each morning: How am I feeling today, and what do I need? - Take time away from social media
If it feels hard to be surrounded by other people’s “happy” lives, it’s okay to step back. Social media often shows highlights, not the full picture. When you’re grieving, it’s easy to compare your hardest moments with someone else’s best. Take a break when you need to and choose something that supports you instead — a walk in nature, a book, or a moment of quiet. - Seek safe people and places
Whether it’s a trusted friend, a support group, a journal, or a therapist, having somewhere your grief can be spoken and heard — without judgement or unwanted advice — can feel relieving and validating. You don’t have to carry this on your own.
💬 A gentle reminder: You are not ‘losing it’. You are not ‘failing’ and you haven’t gone ‘mad’. Grief is not something to fix or rush and it does not follow any sort of calendar.
As you move through these early days of the year, I gently invite you to ask yourself: “how am I feeling and what do I need right now?”.
Grief and Bereavement Counselling in Ruislip and Online
If trying counselling is something you have been considering, I offer a free 20-minute telephone call where you can get a feel for how I work and ask any questions you might have.