Sarah Kirrane Counselling
Bereavement Counselling in Fitzrovia, Central London, Ruislip and Online.
(W1T, HA4)
When we lose something that holds deep meaning for us, or when we experience the death of someone we love, it can feel as though the rug has been swiped from beneath our feet.
Grief comes in many forms; the end of a relationship, losing a job, infertility, being on the receiving end of a health diagnosis or the death of a person or beloved pet.
"Grief is not a problem to be solved; it's an experience to be carried" - Megan Devine
When we are grieving, it is almost impossible to believe that anything can help. We live in a culture that is designed to solve problems and to stop pain, yet we cannot solve grief and we cannot make it go away. There is no 'normal' way to respond to loss and it has no expiry date, despite society telling us that it does.
Whether you have lost a person or are mourning a future that may not happen, talking through how you are feeling and how your loss or bereavement is affecting you can provide comfort, support and can help you to find a way to live with your new reality.
Grief must be witnessed and counselling is a dedicated time and space to tend to your grief.
Based in a quiet, tranquil space in Fitzrovia, Central London and Ruislip, North West London.
To find out more, please contact me here.
Qualifications & Experience
- Level 4 diploma in therapeutic counselling
- Levels 2 and 3 counselling skills
- Certificate in online and telephone counselling
- Helpline Counsellor - Vita Health Group
- Counsellor - Place2be
- Bereavement Visitor - Bereavement Care (Harrow)
- Volunteer Counsellor - Childline
- Ongoing continued professional development
Bereavement Counselling
“Death steals the future we anticipated and hoped for, but it can't take away the relationship we had.” - Julia Samuel
When someone close dies, the world can seem like a lonely and empty place. It can help to talk with someone who will listen without judging or telling you what to do.
As a human (first!) and a grief counsellor, I understand and continue to learn about the impact that the death of a loved one has on us. Grieving is a personal journey with no predefined 'normal' response or fixed timescale, despite societal expectations.
Sadly, even though death is such a huge part of life, society continues to impose its expectations and judgements on people by telling them how long their grief should last, by making comparisons or by completely avoiding the subject. Society does not mean to be harmful; it just does not like to talk or think about death and dying.
To lose a loved one is probably one of the hardest things we will experience in our lives. There is no 'normal' way to respond to grief and no timescale, despite what society may want.
Grieving is natural and normal and although it is painful, distressing and can make us feel unwell, it is not an illness. It cannot be fixed and we cannot make it go away. Over time, the pain will usually feel less intense and many people will adapt to a life without the person who has died but this will be different for everyone.
It can help to know that, as different as it is for everyone, many bereaved people have reported some of the following similar feelings: Shock and numbness, pain, anger, guilt, depression, relief, seeing and hearing the person who has died, sadness, lost, exhausted, anxious, frightened, cheated, lacking in purpose, confused, worried, overwhelmed.
Whatever you are feeling at this time, it is important to do what is right for you and know that when it comes to grief, there is no right or wrong way. Your grief is as unique as the relationship you had.
Bereavement counselling gives you the time you need to talk
about the person who has died and how their death is affecting you. I want to offer you a place to come where you can be as messy as your grief is without having to hear about how strong you are or how well you are coping. It can be somewhere for you let go, to be angry, cry, laugh, remember them in your own way and to acknowledge how hard things are without having to protect others from your feelings.
Sadly, even though death is such a huge part of life, society continues to impose its expectations and judgements on people by telling them how long their grief should last, by making comparisons to its own experiences or by completely avoiding the subject. Society does not mean to be harmful, it just does not like to talk or think about death and dying.
It is important to remember that grief is a natural process and many will have some form of support from friends and family which can sometimes be enough. However, more often than not, the amount of time a friend has to offer will be limited and isn't always enough for the person in need of support. Family members may be trying to process their own grief and be unable to support one another. Sharing your true feelings with those closest to you can feel risky and can come with unhelpful opinions, feeling judged, unheard or misunderstood and this can have a negative impact on your grief and healing.
"Asking for help isn't giving up", said the horse. "It's refusing to give up" - Charlie Mackesy
If you would like to find out more about my counselling services in Fitzrovia, Central London, Ruislip and online, please contact me.
Non-death Loss
Being able to identify and name life experiences as losses worthy of grief can be an important part of healing. Yet often, we tend to identify death as being the only life event worthy of grief.
In today's fast-paced world, our experiences of loss are quickly pushed aside as we are forced to 'get on with it' or 'get over it'.
For some, the source of their grief may be clear, for example, the end of a relationship, the end of a career, retirement, children leaving home, the end of a dream or future plans such as having children, or the loss of good health.
For others, when faced with certain challenges, intense emotions may be felt but it may be less clear that these feelings actually stem from grief or the loss of their world as they knew it.
Talking about how you are feeling can help you to gain clarity and understanding, increase self-awareness and people often say that, although talking doesn't fix or solve the problems, it makes it easier to face them.
If you feel that you might benefit from having the support of a counsellor, please contact me to find out more about how I work and to talk about your needs at this time.
Chronic Illness
Receiving a life changing diagnosis carries the same emotional burden as grief. And, like you, I have been there. Illness changes our identity moving from a healthy person to one with a condition to manage.
Having to integrate this unwanted new identity is painful and comes with many emotions especially concerning your body. We can be angry with it, feel powerless and like we are all of a sudden burdening others.
I understand how distressing it is when your body suddenly isn't doing what it's supposed to do and how isolating this can be. I've been there with having to make lifestyle choices, take regular medication and deal with the side effects not to mention fitting in all of the hospital appointments on top of an already busy schedule.
It can be hard to deal with the responses of friends and family especially when the diagnosis also affects them and particularly when the life you thought you would live now looks different.
If you would like to talk with somebody with their own lived experience of illness, who has been there and understands, please contact me.
Locations
Fitzrovia, Central London
10 Fitzroy Square, London W1T 5HP
A quiet, tranquil room located in the heart of London, overlooking Fitzroy Square. Just a few minutes walk from Warren Street, Great Portland Street and Euston Square Stations.
Ruislip, Hillingdon, North West London
1a Ickenham Road, Ruislip HA4 7BT
Located just off the high street and a few minutes walk from Ruislip train Station. Easily accessible from Uxbridge, Hillingdon, Ickenham, Ruislip, Ruislip Manor, Eastcote, Rayners Lane and South Harrow. Some on street parking available and a pay and display carpark.
Online
Online counselling has grown in popularity in recent years. I currently offer sessions via Teams. Offering many of the benefits that in-person counselling offers, it is also flexible and convenient for those less able to travel or with busy lifestyles.
Sessions & Fees
Finding a therapist you feel comfortable with is very important. I usually suggest that we have an initial call where we can talk about what has led you here and to consider how we might work together.
I offer both time-limited and open-ended therapy and if we decide to work together, we commit to meet weekly for 50 minutes.
Ruislip Fee: £75.00
Central London Fee: £95.00
As a registered member of the BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy), I am bound by, and adhere to, its ethical framework for good practice in counselling and psychotherapy and I am subject to the BACP professional conduct code.
For your protection and reassurance, I am fully insured, hold an enhanced DBS (criminal check) and am registered with the Information Commissioner's Office (ICO).
Confidentiality is central to the therapeutic relationship and I will work to ensure that it is fully preserved both during and after our work together. However, there are some limitations which I will explain clearly during our first session.
Contact Me
Making contact with a therapist can be a scary first step. It is normal to feel unsure, nervous or anxious about opening up to a stranger. When you think you might be ready, I will be very happy to hear from you and to discuss your needs, worries and preferences.
You can submit an enquiry using my contact form, or email me at info@skirranecounselling.com, where we will agree a convenient day and time for me to call you to talk about what you are hoping for and take it from there.
I offer sessions from Fitzroy Square in Central London, Ruislip in Hillingdon, North West London and online. All enquires are usually answered within 24 hours, and all contact is strictly confidential.
“We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know.” - Carl Rogers